How can you find partners who don’t last long and tend to break up easily?

How does gift affect relationships with your partners?

Which one is more important between sex or kiss?

How much does the level of reflection and sleep affect relationships?

Any relationship between parents’ divorce and their children’s divorce?

 

1 – How do parents’ divorce affect the rate of their children’s divorce?

2 – How do gifts affect relationships?

3 – The connection between frequency of kiss and the level of satisfaction in relationships.

The key is frequency of OOOO.

4 – Naïve cynicism and how to check the level of naïve cynicism or not?

5 – How does sleep deprivation affect relationship??

6 – Why does sleep deprivation cause argument or fight next day?

7 – 4 kinds of phrases that makes divorce rate higher.

 

 Let’s begin !!

1 – How do parents’ divorce affect the rate of their children’s divorce?

 

Pennsylvania University conducted research in 2001 in which they collected couples and continued investigating them for 17 years.

They found the following data.

If parents have been divorced before, the divorce rate of their children is 31 %.

If parents have not been divorced before, the divorce rate of their children is 19 %.

 

However, what is interesting to his research is that this rate of divorce of children is applicable to  parents who have been divorced smoothly or without any chaos, and continue seeing each other as friends or casually after they got divorced. Usually we assume that divorce is hard.

These children experienced that divorce is imprinted as normal phenomena via their parent’s divorce.

 

2 – How do gifts affect relationships?

 

If you are males, have you experienced discomfort when you received a gift that you did not want from your partners?  

In 2008, British Columbia University has done experiment on 500 couples. They asked both partners to give 2 kinds of gifts each other. One of them is what he wants whereas the other one is what he does not want. Then, they asked both male and female whether to continue their relationships. The outcome of the research is applicable to short term relationships.

 

When males receive gifts that they don’t want to receive, they lower their motivation to hang out with their female partners.

On the contrary, it is interesting that females raised more motivation to continue dating with their male partners even though they received gifts that they don’t want to receive. They felt their partners cared about them regardless.

 

It is tricky to give gifts to male partners. If they don’t feel understood by their female partners, they may leave their relationships because they believe that the relationships are not working well.  Interestingly, this may cause the females to make more commitment for their male partners. However, if these males tend to be violent, their commitment may escalate a cycle of DV.  

Of course, in long term relationships, it is possible that relationships may be damaged if both males and females receive gifts that they don’t want.

 

3 – The connection between frequency of kiss and the level of satisfaction in relationships.

Robin Tamper Ph.D in Oxford University conducted experiment and asked 384 males and 544 females their length of relationships, numbers of relationships, frequency of kiss, and their satisfactory level in their relationships, They discovered that the more frequent they kissed their partners, the more satisfied and happy they felt in their relationships and their lives. However, they did not confirm that numbers of having sex with their partners did not make them satisfied and happy.  In other words, their level of satisfaction and happiness in the relationships depend on frequency of kiss, not on frequency of sex.

The key is frequency of kiss.

If you feel that your partners are not serious with you in the relationship, they may not kiss you much.

 

In regular relationships, you check how often you and your partner kiss before and now to check how close they are right now.

 

4 – Naïve cynicism

Naïve Cynicism is cognitive bias that your partner is more selfish than you.  Usually, in relatively good relationships, you can do your own thing and your partner can do what he or she wants to do individually. Both of you admire and respect each other. They care about their needs. When two of you want to do something together, they have fun together. However, if you feel you are more supporting your partner or you are more sacrificing for your partner, you feel unfair and your partner is more selfish. This is called Naïve Cynicism.

How can you check if your partner tends to have naïve cynicism or not?

When something bad happens to both of you, simply ask your partner “who do you think caused this problem?  “Do you think it’s your fault? Or is it my fault?”  If your partner blames you for it, your partner has higher level of naïve cynicism.

In addition, when something good happens to your partner or both of you, simply ask your partner “who do you think contributed to this ?” if your partner says “I did it,” your partner also has higher level of naïve cynicism.

Or, there is another question to find your partner’s naïve cynicism.

You can ask your partner about the past relationship. Then if you partner tells you “It didn’t work well because partially I did something wrong,” your partner’s naïve cynicism is low.  But, if your partner tells you my ex-partner did this and that, your partner’s naïve cynicism is high.

If both of you have higher levels of naïve cynicism, the relationship does not work well.

 

5 – How does sleep deprivation affect relationship??

There is an another contributor that affects your relationship.

If your partner has jobs that causes sleep deprivation, it may cause more argument or fight in the relationships.

California University in 2013 conducted an experiment in which 78 couples were collected and were asked how often they had argument and fights, what food they ate, how many hours they slept per day for 2 weeks in details. They discovered that sleep deprivation, and quality of sleep contributed more to argument and fights.

Interestingly, if you have sleep deprivation even one night, it is more probable that argument or fight happens next day. If your partner has graveyard shift, you may avoid seeing your partner next day. Before the graveyard shift, you may want to tell your partner that since you are working at night on that day, let’s not hang out right after your work. It is just because if you tell your partner about not seeing each other right after the shift, your partner may not be able to process your message correctly due to sleep deprivation.

6 – Why does sleep deprivation cause argument or fight next day?

1 – Sleep deprivation lowers an ability to sympathize. Due to lower ability to sympathize your partner, you may not feel understood or heard even though your partner may show sympathy to you.

2 – sleep deprivation builds up more negative emotions in you.

3 – sleep deprivation lowers an ability to deal with trouble, problems, and issues.

4 – sleep deprivation makes you become more selfish.

This research team goes without saying that it is difficult to continue relationships with partners who have chronic sleep deprivation.

 

7 – 4 kinds of phrases that makes divorce rate higher.

In 2002, Washington University has collected 200 new married couples and continued investigating their relationships for 6 years. They discovered that divorce rate increases rapidly if couples use the following phrases.

1 – General criticism. “Why do you always act like this?” “You never understand me”

2 – Defensiveness. When your partner tells you “Why do you always come home this late?”, you talk to your partner back, “It can’t be helped but to go drinking with my supervisor. He asked me to go drinking.

3 – Belittle or Despise. “You always look down on me. You are that kind of person.”

4 – neglect or silence. Your partner ignores what your partner are telling you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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